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99 brand new characters - Or "Here's kbrecordzz' own Pokedex!"

by kbrecordzz October 28, 2023 my own works

Gotta catch CONVERSATE them all! You know when you have a deadline for your game and you realize that "Darn! I have to come up with 100 new characters until this Sunday!"? I know the feeling way too well. Well, here they are. Unfinished, unpolished, unpleasant. Some have the same image, others have the same name. Some are meaningless, others are brilliant. I don't have anything more to say, because the characters speak for themselves, literally, in short quotes here below that may or may not be out of some important context. Enjoy!

DJ Zanzibae
"Do you like smooth jazz"

Shelby Snake
"Defund the Central Bank and pee on their reception floor!"

"Sorry, but I don't have time to talk. It's been pretty much lately..."

Chikalong Tabing
"I can't stop it. You know, running non-profits where most profit goes to my own pocket."

Gamanto Hidayat
"Sunshine? Rain? They're both the same: Perfect weather for sunbathing in my garden."

Moster Savage
"Note to self: Open door wider in order to get more customers flowing in."

Bamse Premium
"wanna come in for some long rice? i've dragged them out"

Martin Ricky
"not a chance 'Epper has had sex with his wife. they've AT MOST emailed."

Child Boswald
"How do you send money from Nigeria to Mexico? Just asking."

DJ Fizzt
"Lion? Yeah, that's a dog-like animal."

The Mangler
"I'm thinking of starting a men's club with only me and a bunch of girls."

Dr. Vanish
"I'm a sheep and I'm well-versed in biology and physics. And my private spontaneous research tells me that you're a new undiscovered spieces of animal!"

Bamse Lite
"I'm flaming hot. Scalding hot. That's why I'm orange."

"I have a mission for you. This is a carlessly folded paper with a handdrawn fuck you sign on it."

Tristan Schultz
"Sorry but I'm bussy. I'm at work."

DingaDonga ChingaChonga Chikablow Kakadoo Bibakaw Aparatiff BebeKanga MemeManga Olsen
"I'm pretty nice, but I also have a God complex."

"Hey, I'm Hårass dad, Hårass! Nice to meet ya!"

George "The Whisperer" Rosenfeld
"I've heard that Hårass has had intimate relations to Dark Gandalf's mom... PSST! Don't tell anyone!"

"Hello, I'm making sure everyone are doing okay. No one should be sad in this place! You need a pillow to make your life more fluffy?"

Leafblower Dadason
"they say i should cut my hair. that i should get a job. that i should leave my comfortable chair and get a proper education."

Aristoteles Fuckhard
"you think adele is cool? think again!"

Rauserwelt Stonehenge
"I don't have any use of my muscle memory anymore... it's just crammed with pictures of adele's biceps!"

Baba Black (too controversial for the group)
"Have you seen my Nintendo 64? I lost it September 11th, 2001."

"Wanna sztay ze night? Fifti dalar pliesze. *throws cigarette into grass so it starts burning*"

Jörgen Wallenstam
"It's actually not called Haftlan. It's called _Haftlan-Drakh_. Not as small of a difference as you could think!"

Council of Beavers - Councilor #1: "Cecil"
"Hello, animals in cars. We are the saviors of everything."

There are 32 members of the Council of Beavers: Cecil, Jose, Arthur, Heather, Candice, Cedric, Serenity, Nicholas, LaShonda, Reneaye, Eaves, Aénedor, Tinglyn, Shanticia, Bertrand, Nichólas, Solomon, Jewel, Princess, Lucian, Hubert, Jessie, Alice, Sylvester, Shareen, Constantin, Melvin, Hailee, Cherry, Savannah, Lewis and Richard.

"You know why he's called Darchadais? It's because he must have an ‘S’ in my name, otherwise he won’t hear people calling on him."

"Did you know all of Dark Gandalf's outer joints are numb?"

"Ja ja ja men det är Jybbe ju"

"I'm allergic to bullshit."

Kent Emerson
"I chop wood. I mow lawns. I saw things. Yes, I'm a DAD."

Bus Johnson
"I'm bus terminally ill!"

Benjamin Acosta
"What do you think of my shirt?"

Stewart Lennart
"Tonight! Drive-in cinema! On a full-size GameBoy screen!"

Harpu Vitas
"Welcome to DOGERTS.CAR.WASH! Our deal, pay 10 dollars, wash as much as you want!"

Perhaps Wellingstone
"The beauty of a woman's curves can't even be explained by a graph calculator..."

"My conversation tangents are so big that I have a butler welcoming people out of the parenthesis."

"what up capy"

"hella drip"

Arctic Hare

"Yeah, I'm a short king. What you have in your legs, I have up here. *points at head*"

Bob Lesterson
"Just standing here, watching the fire."

The Guardian of Life
"Life is precious. ... Don't waste it."

Annabelle Tinglyn
"Do you know what time it is?"

Morten Ollon
"I'm an attorney, you know. High class attorney for the biggest clients."

Ek Ollon
"I'm thinking of joining a content house."

Klint LaValle
"I'm just one year old, but I already have severe depression from being a functional opioid addict for seven years."

"Wanna get vaccinated?!"

Stefano DiPripedo
"At L'Amour De Pommes Frites, we serve the finest fries and nuggets, all made on the same oven plate!"

"Where's your 'pard, sir?"

"Do you like our jazz/fusion/bossanova/horrorcore/magnettrainsareawesome/mathcore sound?"

"I've dabbled in guitars, drums, you name it. But right now I play the rusty iron pipe."

Rudolf Nissen
"I'm married to Santa Claus!"

Nisse Rudolfsson
"But we're thinking of divorce."

The 40 year old suspect
"We're 40. We'll be fine."

His brother
"We're 40. We'll be fine."

The 3D cube
"Gah, you're all so two-dimensional!"

Horace Engdahl
"Did you know, that I'm pretty well known in Sweden? *clears throat loudly*"

"I'm Hårass!!"


"Whenever there's just one other person on the bus, I make it clear that I'm not going to be that annoying person that randomly sits down right beside them."

Mrs Superconductor's Nr. 1 Hater
"i hate that cat. she's always so nice and welcoming and enthusiastic and curious."

Stefano DiPripedo's mom
"So, you're interested in the finest beverages of them all? i got all sorts of sewage water for the gentleman!"

Unreasonably Sexy Math Teacher
"In this world, a year is one day long."

Baba Blue
"I'm Baba Blue."

Baba Yellow
"I'm Baba Yellow."

Baba Brown
"I'm Baba Brown."

Baba Purple
"I'm Baba Purple."

"Welcome to Haftlan's Souvenir Shop! Here's what we're selling today!"

"Since the dark web came, I've had to make my dark auctions smaller and smaller."

Space Vagina
""Dark matter" is short for "Dark Gandalf doesn't matter"."

Rumble Raz
"If you work against your own body weight instead of against these machines, you both minimize the injury risk and maximize the chick possibility."

John Lowe
"Your files are pretty big, right? Like 3 megs? 5 gigs? Shit like that, bitch?"

"Oh my god, I'm so glad you came! I've got some sausage water left from last night's sausage dinner and I just couldn't throw it away... You'll take it, right?"

Janet Spice
"I've heard your carclub is going down in FLAMES! Any comments?"

Bamse Freemium
"Don't tell the owner of the house that i live in this leaf pile."

Brutus Force
"Tired of your cars? LEMME CRUSH EM"

"yeah, i don't know..."

"Can you let me out of this slave prison? I don't like being a slave! It's detrimental to my mental health!"

Bitcoin Cowboy

"I breath pure crypto."

George "Sad" Larsen
"Hey, what's up"

Unreasonably Sexy Math Teacher
"I am Math Master. I know everything."

"Calmness stresses me out."

The Perfect Bathroom
"My vision; A world full of toilets."


"I'm Saville."

Baby Yoda with a dadbod
"Naked on Christmas? Of course."

"I have no sense of humour. You can do anything and I WON'T laugh."

Babe McCowell
"It's official! I'm not nice anymore."

Michael Quiggly
"What? This log? It's just a real-size replica of my... you know."

Roger Fuckpissshit
"The biggest tourist attraction in the area? Adele's biceps!"

Olmo V. Acuum
"I have only 4 wishes in life."

Kutan Abscess
"is it easter yet??!"

Furunkel Karbunkel
"please say it's easter soon!!"

Jesus G. Christ
"we want it so bad!!"

Angela Karbunkel
"I've heard the sun is gay with the moon."

More "fun" content from the game!

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