The Pussy Method - my new method for creating computer programs

(This is kind of, in a way, but also not really a refined version of this text.)

Programmers follow different religions when it comes to project management, and I felt the existing ones were lame so I created my own: The Pussy Method. (Tech humans, please name things more LIVELY than "agile" and "scrum"!!) The Pussy Method is a mix of the old "Waterfall methodology" (set a plan and follow it exactly) and the "agile" methodologies (do things quick and change your mind often). "Agile" = release things constantly. Waterfall = never release anything. Agile is stressed and anxious. Waterfall is manly. But we can learn from both!

Here are the 7 head corner stones of The Pussy Method:

1. Greatness is the end goal, not money. (Money is just a means to create great things! Over and over again, companies who don't follow this start doing weird things.)
2. You know what's great. (Test it yourself, ask yourself for feedback, improve from the feedback, all behind locked doors. Don't anxiously follow user feedback!)
3. Release a single finished product. (Make it great from the start. Never change it. Kill update culture!)
4. Eternal support. (Target no specific devices, systems or versions. Target everything forever!)
5. Put user experience over everything else. (Don't ask users for anything! Don't try to gain anything from them! Don't be lazy, program ambitiously so the user can be lazy!)
6. Live in reality. (The computer does what it does, don't try to trick yourself about anything else! Don't live in a land of abstractions! Don't follow any coding religion! Don't get too attached to your own philosophy, do what's best for each case!)
7. Keep it simple. (Simple things are simple and not easy, they consist of few parts and they don't hide any complexity. To understand this you have to live in reality.)

So, remove the anxious way of asking users what they want all the time, insert the manly way of giving people good stuff without hesitation. Agile in your mind, Waterfall to the outside world. Are you confused about the masculine symbolism while also being named after the female body part? The Pussy Method is about how to behave to GET pussy and not how to BE a pussy.

It's worth reading about the UNIX philosophy which has obviously inspired me.

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